Going through a divorce is often stressful and emotional, especially when you and your spouse do not agree on matters such as spousal support, child custody, and asset division. Fortunately, letting a judge decide these issues is not your only option when it comes to ending your marriage.
Sometimes spouses can work together to resolve difficult issues, but when they can’t, mediation is sometimes a productive way to handle disputed terms. In mediation, a neutral third party listens to both sides and offers their thoughts and perspectives while trying to help divorcing spouses compromise and agree to divorce terms.
Mediation is a common alternative dispute resolution that divorcing couples use to settle their disputes. If you are going through a divorce and need to work through some contested issues, mediation might be a good option for you and your spouse to settle your divorce out of court. Keep reading to learn more about what divorce mediation is and how it works.
Before The Mediation
Mediation can work in different ways, but in general, you, your spouse, and your attorneys will collectively select a mediator and schedule an appointment. Typically, all parties will meet with a mediator before the actual mediation to map out a mediation plan.
The mediator will ask you about the contested issues and might request that you and your spouse submit mediation statements individually. Your family law attorney will help you prepare a statement and anything else you may need for the mediation.
How Mediation Works
At the actual mediation, both sides will have the opportunity to share their stories, thoughts, and opinions. Divorce mediation is meant to be a cooperative process. A good mediator will help divorcing couples work through some issues while trying to keep the process as peaceful and productive as possible.
Depending on your circumstances, mediators sometimes separate spouses and their attorneys so that they can meet with each party privately. Sometimes spouses will stay separated throughout the mediation, and other times everyone will meet together to try to work out divorce terms.
Ultimately, it is up to you and your spouse to reach an agreement. The mediator can make suggestions and recommendations, but unlike a trial, mediation is voluntary. The mediator’s role is to help you and your spouse reach an agreement, but the mediator does not have the power to make decisions for you.
Mediation Is Private
Unlike going to trial, where your divorce becomes a public record, mediation is handled outside of the court system. Things that happen during mediation remain private between spouses, their attorneys, and the mediator. People often prefer mediation versus going to trial to avoid having to discuss sensitive family matters in court.
The Benefits Of Mediation
Divorcing couples often try to avoid trial and take advantage of the benefits of mediation. Mediation benefits include the following:
- Less expensive – Mediation is much less expensive than going to trial.
- Saving time –When you go through the litigation process, your divorce may take years to be finalized. When mediation is successful, the entire divorce process can sometimes be complete in a matter of months.
- Less stressful – Trials are lengthy, uncertain, and emotional. This can cause immense stress for divorcing couples and their children. The mediation process can alleviate a lot of the stress that comes with going to trial.
- Having a say in the outcome – When you negotiate the terms of your divorce, you have a say in how things turn out. At trial, you can argue your case and present evidence, but ultimately, it’s the judge who makes the decisions.
What If My Spouse And I Can’t Agree On Our Divorce Terms?
Even if you and your spouse have not been able to agree to divorce terms, it may still be worthwhile to consider mediation, especially if you both would prefer to settle matters outside of court. Good mediators can be very effective and productive in settling some or all divorce matters.
Even if you do not get everything you want in mediation, you may be able to negotiate for things that mean the most to you while giving up others that aren’t as important to you. As mentioned above, when you resolve matters at mediation, you have some control over your divorce terms, unlike at trial, where the judge has all of the decision-making control.
Contact A Divorce Mediation Attorney
If you are going through a divorce and have questions about alternative dispute resolution, like divorce mediation, contact California divorce mediation attorney Bruce A. Mandel at 424-250-9130 or online for a FREE consultation. Bruce has more than three decades of experience representing clients in divorce mediation and other family law matters.
See Bruce’s Facebook page to learn more about his practice and how he can help with your divorce and other family law matters.
